So my treacherous journey through the world of submissive dating continues and there are many rocks waiting to tear my rowing boat apart. Or are there? I have been thinking on my reaction to ‘rocks’ when they appear in my many conversations with dominant men and wondering if my navigation of them could improve. Currently when I see a rock, I swerve dramatically to avoid it. I change course. And this means ending both the conversation and the opportunity. Here are a few examples of what I mean …

Rock Number 1: Too Casual 

I like intensity. If at the beginning of our interactions he is already treating my submission lightly then it doesn’t bode well in my mind for the future. Time to change course …

Rock Number 2: Lack of Maturity 

This is a judgement call on my part but if in his opening messages he is copying & pasting generic introductions, telling me he wants to show me his dick wanking over me, or telling me all about his last sub’s toned arse and shaven pussy lips then I think to myself that he doesn’t have the experience or understanding of me that I need. Lack of experience is dangerous to me. Uncertainty is dangerous. Time to change course …

N.B I would have no problem hearing about the sub’s pussy lips if she was likely to be taking part!

Rock Number 3: Dishonesty 

Dishonesty doesn’t have to be direct lies. It could be implied experience you don’t have or implied single status that isn’t true. I like honesty. No, more than that. I crave it. I feel when something is wrong and it won’t take long for me to uncover what it is. I am a smart cookie. The Conqueror used to say he didn’t want to tell me the truth in case it hurt me. My response was always the truth will never hurt me. Not knowing the truth but sensing something is wrong is what hurts. This time I don’t have to change course though. If I understand why you didn’t tell me the truth and I can empathise with the intention, dishonesty is actually a rock I can navigate around …

Doms are wary of me too. The experienced ones. It has made me realise for the first time the difficulties they face. They want a woman who is strong, who submits because she wants to not because she needs to. How can you tell that in a message exchange? You can’t is the answer. So we have to meet. And that is frightening. My body is weak and can be easily overpowered by a strong man. His heart is fragile and can be easily manipulated by a woman’s affection. I was told yesterday by a Dom that he is wary of me being a doormat. I laughed out loud at the message. I told him this morning to Google my real name. No one has ever thought that about me in my life! They are more likely to say I put the Iron Lady to shame. But he made me realise he is looking for rocks too. A reason to change course …

We are all on our own rowing boat navigating rocks. The Doms who approach me as much as the sub being approached. I hope to welcome one aboard my boat very soon. I would love a careful, experienced, honest pair of hands to help me …

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