I have worked so hard to manage the darkness in my soul. And too often I congratulate myself on how great I am doing and how I really have it sorted this time. And just as I grow complacent something happens to knock me over.
I have taken on a lot of other people’s emotional struggles. The problem is too many of them are too similar to my own. My heart has been showing the signs of strain and I haven’t paid attention. And this morning I crashed.
It started with me waking and masturbating to a dream. A dark dream. I am dressed in a boarding school uniform and I had been kissing a boy in the nearby skate park. I had let him open my shirt and fondle my breasts. When I arrive back to my dormitory the headmaster is waiting for me. His gaze instantly rests upon the buttons of my shirt and as I look down I realise in my haste to redo them I had missed one. Before I can speak his hand is upon my shirt ripping the buttons open to expose my lacy white bra.
“You little whore,” his voice spits out venomously, “come with me.”
I know what is coming. He has punished me before so I follow dutifully to his office. He makes me bend over and clutch my ankles as he lifts my skirt, pulls down my knickers, and begins to spank my bottom hard with his hand.
“You – are – a – dirty – whore.”
With each word a spank that grows harder and harder. I count 20 before I hear the sound of him unbuckling his belt. 20 belt lashes too each one harder than the last. My legs are shaking and soft whimpers escape my lips by the time he is finished.
I expect to be instructed to stand but there is silence. He says nothing. Then I feel his strong fingers between my legs, stroking hard along the opening of my pussy. I’d never let a boy touch me there.
“You are wet,” he announces to the empty room, “you filthy filthy girl.”
His hands are on me then pushing me to the ground. I kick out and try to fight him. But he is so strong. He forces his body on top of me pinning me down as his low gravelly voice echoes in my ear.
“Little whores like you need teaching a proper lesson.”
His voice is full of menance as I squirm pointlessly underneath his strong weight. What is a proper lesson? Fear grasps my insides like a fierce cold hand.
“Have you ever let a boy fuck you?”
He asks as he pushes my hips back and forces his hand in between my legs.
“No,” I whimper softly.
“Liar,” he spits out, grabbing a fistful of hair and pulling my head back.
“I bet you even let the boys put their dicks in your whore-girl arse.”
I whimper and try to shake my head as he holds it firm. He runs his other hand over the curve of my naked bottom before thrusting his thumb deep into my arse-hole. I yelp loudly. He responds by ripping my white lace knickers from my legs and forcing them down my throat.
“I’m going to fuck that tight whore arse of yours.”
My scream is muffled by my own knickers but I kick out against him. He grabs my legs and calls out to the air to ‘bring the restraints’. For the first time I realise we have been watched as a woman steps from the shadows. She grins at me and holds out a steel bar. I use all my strength to twist my upper body and she quickly sits on my back as the headmaster cuffs my ankles onto the bar. They both force me to my knees and clip cuffs around my wrists. I pull against them screaming as loudly as I can but the sound is lost in the softness of my knickers.
“Get her ready,” he instructs and I feel the woman kneel down behind me. The warm softness of her tongue inside my bottom hole is alien but not unpleasant. My face burns with shame as her fingers probe my pussy and find it wet. She moans with satisfaction.
Suddenly I feel her pulled away. My body remains restrained in the silent room as I try to turn my head. In an instant my bottom is penetrated hard and deep by the headmaster’s thick shaft. He forces himself in tearing muscles as I fight against him screaming. He pulls my hair back again fiercely.
“Fight me you little bitch,” he spits with venom, “I like it more that way.”
I do keep fighting as he thrusts himself into my bottom harder and harder. I am sobbing as he slaps himself against me pounding his cock in again and again. I whimper into my knickers. My bottom burns as he turns my head so I can see the woman masturbating in front of me. Rubbing herself as she steps closer to my face.
“Do you like cunt too you little whore?”
She asks, rubbing herself across my face. Her smell is so strong. She rubs the opening of her pussy against my exposed lips. I try to move my face away but the headmaster holds my head firm as I feel his cock start to twitch inside me.
“I’m going to come on her face” she announces as he replies “I’m going to come in her dirty arse”.
His thrusts get faster and harder as they climb to a crescendo until I feel the wetness of his release into my bottom. She starts to scream as her orgasm explodes and drips across my face. My bottom is torn, bleeding, male ejaculate running down my legs. The smell of female orgasm fills my nose and its wetness stains my lips. They have used me. Used me like a whore.
And after I have come hard masturbating to this dream I start to cry. Because I am so dark inside. And sometimes the darkness frightens me …